


How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

by LadySalvatore



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Cousin Incest, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11531991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySalvatore/pseuds/LadySalvatore
Summary: He doesn’t know what the feelings inside him mean but he does know that he’ll do anything to keep her safe. Winter is finally here and he’s the only one who can protect them all.





	1. Chapter 1

**_I’d give anything to hear you say it one more time. That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes_ **

 

His eyes scanned the darkened room as he lay on his back adjusting the furs around himself. The cold seemed to filter into his very veins as he recalled the way his half-sister had looked at him earlier that day.

She had compared him to Joffrey and the mere thought made Jon feel disgusted with himself; her words had been like a sword to his heart and had even made him doubt himself for a few seconds.

Was it possible that he was never going to be enough for Sansa? Had she been broken for good after her time in enemy hands or was it just him whom she refused to trust? Was the ghost of being Winterfell’s bastard still haunting him even after all that time?

Tossing and turning in the bed, that night Jon’s dreams were plagued with kissed by fire hair and frostbite smiles.

.

.

**_With shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite._ **

He lurks in the shadows like a bloody creeper while she walks along the Godswood with the rat of Little finger by her side. He has spoken with her countless of times about sending him away but every time he mentions it she gives him a condescending smile and tells him they still need him.

Jon wonders if perhaps she feels more for the old man that what she lets on, the mere idea makes him want to tear into the man’s throat but he shakes the thought out of his head immediately since he doesn’t want to dwell too much on what that says about himself.

Perhaps he was never supposed to come back.

Perhaps the darkness swept into him when he was brought back to life.

Jon Snow truly knows nothing but as he watches his half-sister give the other man a saccharine smile he’s certain he wishes for nothing more than to see his body on the ground.

She is his to protect.

.

.

**_How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist_ **

****

Her red hair is wild as she walks along the length of his solar; the light of the fire crackling in the heart is casting shadows on her face.  Her lips are set in a thin line and her eyes are as cold as the night’s king stare.

“You’re too consumed with the threat north of the wall that you don’t consider the fact that enemies are everywhere!” Her words were laced with ice as she spoke and his jaw clenched in the same way it had done the first time she uttered those words to him.

Every day that passed Jon could see the remains of the sweet girl who dreamed about princes and castles vanishing completely from Sansa’s face.

His hard eyes focused on her “If your eyes had seen what I’ve seen you would understand my need to keep everyone safe”

Sansa rolled her eyes in a very un-lady like manner; she hated when he did that, when he treated her like a little girl who knew nothing of the world. She felt like in his eyes she was still the same naïve child who let her home in the way to King’s landing.

“And if your eyes had seen what mine did Jon, you would understand mine too” She retorted as she fixed him with her hard glare.

Jon sighed as he slumped back against the wall opposite from her “I don’t want to quarrel with you sweetling” Sansa almost flinched at the use of the pet name, she wasn’t used to affectionate words coming from him but every now and then one would slip from his tongue letting her feeling warm inside.

Her expression softened as she whispered the words that had been clawing its way out of her throat “Then don’t go”

Jon looked defeated as he stared at her “We need her help”

“Do you truly believe the Dragon Queen will want nothing in return?”

“I am not that naïve” He whispered as he looked down, unable to stand the disappointment and anger lurking in her blue eyes.

“And you’re still going to go” She told him and her voice was so heavy with disillusionment that his heart clenched in his ribcage. 

“We need her help Sansa”

Her back stiffened as she walked past him “Then I won’t stop you” Her voice was detached and all traces of the fleeting vulnerability he saw seconds ago were gone.

He moved towards her “Sansa please…I know that is hard to understand but my duty is to Winterfell, to the north and to its people”

She stopped at the door and looked at him from over her shoulder “You know nothing Jon Snow” The words made Jon’s blood turn to ice in his veins “But then again why am I surprised? The only one I can count on is me”

“Don’t say that”

“It is nothing but the truth, now if you excuse me-“Before she could retreat from his solar he gripped her by the shoulders and spun her around so she was facing him. Her scent invaded his nostrils and he had to stop himself from breathing her in.

“No, you don’t get to walk away. Not like this” His face was so close that his breath caressed her face “Sansa you and Bran are the most important thing I have in the world and that’s why I have to go, because I will do anything to keep you both safe”

His voice was pleading and it started to melt the ice around her heart and once that was all gone all she could feel was fear and she hated him for making her feel that way.

“But don’t you see Jon! What we need to keep us safe is you being here!” Her voice quivered and he instantly pulled her body closer to his “The lone wolf dies but the pack survives, Starks must never leave north”

His eyes flared at her words, the darkness that seemed to overpower him lately started to claw at his insides “Do you think I want to leave? Think I want to leave you at the hands of others? But I must go” He dropped his forehead against hers, their lips mere inches away from each other “I’ll come back I promise”

She shook her head lightly “Don’t promise me anything”

“I will return Sansa, I just need you to believe in it” Those were his words before he brushed his lips gently against hers and let her walk out of his solar.

That night his dreams were plagued with fire kissed hair and the promise of summer.

 

 


	2. All or nothing to you

_Oh, the devil’s inside. You opened the door. You have him a ride. Too young to know, too old to admit that you couldn’t see how it ends_

_._

_._

A couple of weeks after his departure her little sister had appeared in the woods, a calloused look on her face and her direwolf trailing behind her. Sansa’s heart had burst with joy at having her two younger siblings with her again but as the days passed the cracks in her heart started to grow because every time she looked at Arya she realized that her little sister was no longer.

Sansa had become excellent at handling the affairs in Winterfell with Brienne and Bran by her side; the lords respected her and looked up at her with adoration in their eyes. The red haired girl had learned more than a few lessons in her time in King’s landing and one of the most important was at the hands of the fair Margaery Tyrell, like her Sansa was making the northern people love her.

Despite of how good things were going Sansa couldn’t help the darkened thoughts that tormented her in the middle of the night. Whispers of the Dragon’s queen fascination with the northern King reached her ears every day and clawed at her insides filling her with fear.

He promised to return.

But Sansa Stark knew very well that promises were meant to be broken.

So every night she draped the furs around herself and with a heavy heart waited for sleep to take over and wrap her with the promises of long summer days.

.

.

Th _ey sold you a bridge. They fed you to lions. You always confused your servants for friends but you couldn’t see how it ends._

_._

_._

Her back was stiff and her chin was held high as she watched the horses approaching. Half of the people surrounding her were staring in awe at the beasts that were flying in the sky but her eyes were not.

Her blue eyes stared straight ahead into her half-brother’s form and the woman ridding beside him, she would have expected for the queen to ride one of her beasts but she wasn’t.

Daenerys Stormborn was in Winterfell and the tales of her beauty paled in comparison of the reality. With snow white hair and deep purple eyes she was as exquisite as the whispers suggested but there was something in her eyes that unsettled Sansa, a madness that peaked from inside and that chilled the blood in her veins.

Her brother dismounted and Sansa watched with rapt attention the minute his eyes landed on the figure standing next to her and the realization hit him. “Arya…” His lips mouthed the words as he ran towards the once small girl with awe etched on his face.

Sansa’s eyes filled with tears as she watched the scene unfolding in front of her; so many things had changed between them since the last time they were all together and neither of them were the same and yet as she watched her siblings in each other’s arms she could pretend even if it was for a second that everything was going to be all right.

The wolves were together again.

.

.

_What did you do to my eyes? What did you sing to that lonely child? Promised all but you lied._

His eyes followed her around the great hall as lords smiled at her, their eyes beaming with joy as they watched the lady of Winterfell parade herself in front of their guests. Jon sat next to Daenerys feeling as much as an outsider as he had when he was a young boy.,

He had inquired about Littlefinger’s whereabouts earlier and the look his two sisters shared was enough to let him know the problem had been taken care of. Jon was glad for that but he was not pleased to see her sister chatting happily with Tyrion Lannister, Jon had the man in high esteem but an irrational rage grew in him whenever he saw other men close to his sister.

“Be careful my lord” Daenerys leaned down to whisper in his ear “The others might start noticing” Jon’s cheeked reddened at the cheeky queen’s comment and his eyes found his sister’s across the room.

Her stare seemed to ice over when she spotted him. Jon hated the look; it was the way she used to look at him when they were children. He missed the warmness she showed to him after they found each other.

He missed her warm smiles and the embroidery cloaks she made for him; he missed the lemon cakes in her breath and the softness of her red hair. He missed things he hadn’t even experienced yet.

He missed feeling close to her.

.

.

_You better slow down baby soon. It's all or nothing to you_

“Haven’t you forgiven me yet?” The voice startled her and her back stiffened as she heard him closing the door to her solar. Her eyes were trained on the snow covered trees outside of her window. The flames burned in the heart warming the coldness of the walls as his footsteps approached her from behind “I kept my promise”

“You did?”

“I came back. I came back for you”

Her eyes closed at the words that came out of his lips. Sansa’s hands were shacking as she took them to rest on her chest. The warmness his words left was spreading and threatening to shatter the ice that had formed around her heart.

“For how long?” She asked and her voice was so reproachful it reminded him of the way her lady mother used to speak to him when he was a boy. “You will be leaving soon”

“Sansa you know I must go north” She could feel his breath down her neck as his hands went to her waits surprising her and making her gasp “I need to fight this war, for you” He dropped his head into the crook of her neck, a gesture that was far from being brotherly.

“For me or for her?” She answered as she tried to regain composure and mask how much his touch was affecting her.

He laughed slightly, his face shacking against her neck and making his beard scratch against the delicate skin of her neck “Don’t believe everything you hear sweetling” He pressed a soft kiss to her skin “It is all for you” He pressed closer to her and Sansa let herself fall against him.

His arms encircled her waist completely as her head fell back so his nose was in contact with her cheek “I need you to stay alive Jon” Sansa was allowing herself to believe again; to be, even if it was for a few seconds the same naïve girl who believed in happy endings. “Come back to me”

“I will dear Sansa” Her head moved slightly so their lips were inches away from each other “I will always come back to you” He moved forward and pressed a soft kiss into her lips.

A kiss that shouldn’t be.

Touches that shouldn’t exist.

And a longing that kept growing with each snowflake that fell into the ground.


	3. If this wings could fly

_Oh damn these walls in the moment we're ten feet tall_  
And how you told me after it all we'd remember tonight  
For the rest of our lives

.

.

A dark cloud of worry followed her everywhere every day she spent behind in Winterfell. Contrary to what she thought at the beginning Arya had chosen to stay with her and together with Bran’s help they had managed to keep calmness among the walls of Winterfell.

Tragic tales about the horrors taking place on the other side of the wall reached their ears every day but they knew they had to show strength to their people, like her lady mother and father had done when crisis had stricken in the past.

So by day Sansa Stark was the perfect picture of calmness and serenity as she tended to her people, stocked their homes with food and tried to reassure crying mothers who were sure they children weren’t returning. Sansa was forced to ignore the towering smoke that appeared in the sky and the coldness that bit her skin even inside the wall.

Only in the nights she would allow herself to break down, to sit by the fire and let the tears fall. She thought about her dear Robb and his warm smiles, she thought about the gentle touch of his father, about the sweet eyes of baby Rickon and the way her lady mother’s hands had felt on her hair.

And she thought of him too; of his calmness and his curls, she thought of his dark solemn eyes and the way his arms had felt around her.  Oh it  _would_  be so  _sweet_  to  _see him_  once  _again_

She wrapped her arms around herself as all those faces came to haunt her, all those lives that were lost in the meaningless war before and all those that were going to be lost in the new war they fought.

In the darkness of her chambers she let herself be surrounded completely by the ice that had been eating at her insides since the moment she saw her father’s body fall limp into the ground.

.

.

_Lights go down in the moment we're lost and found  
I just wanna be by your side if these wings could fly_

.

.

Sansa is sure a part of her knew there was no hope since the moment she watched him go with the Dragon Queen so a cry leaves her throat and a hand goes to her chest in order to steady her heart when she sees him standing in the doors of her solar.

Jon Snow is in front of her but looks different from the boy who departed from Winterfell; it’s not the bloodied clothes or bruised body. It’s the look in his eyes, the same one she saw when he pummeled the body of Ramsay into the ground.

He looked feral.

Both a Dragon and a Wolf.

When Bran first had said the words revealing his true parentage Sansa had refused to believe it, even after the discovery of Samwell Tarly arrived a couple of moons ago Sansa had been reluctant to believe it. But now as she stared at him in front of her there was no doubt that fire and ice both ran in his veins.

“You came back” She said softly when she was able to find her voice.

“I did promised my lady” He closed the door behind him with a bang and on three strides he was completely in front of her, their noses touching and she wanted to weep with the realization he was safe and sound among the walls of their house again.

“Did we win?”

“Aye, we did” Those were his only words before he took her in his arms. If her past self could see her right now she would probably faint, Sansa Stark the beloved rose of Winterfell in the arms of who once was her bastard brother. His muddy grim clothes tainting her fair skin and his calloused hands wandering to places they shouldn’t be.

But that girl was no longer here, she had died many moons ago at the hands of the lions, now there was only the Winter Queen and she was throwing her head back as the white wolf’s lips trailed down her neck, she was fisting her hands in his dirty hair and opening her legs for him.

No matter how feral or changed Jon was at the moment, Sansa knew he was going to regret taking her this way later, when the fog of the battle was out of his mind and he was that sweet boy again he would blame himself for being so hard on her but Sansa no longer cared, she wanted this, she need this.

She need his strength and brutality, she need him to know she was still alive, to warm her against the cold that tainted her soul. When he finally slid inside her the red haired girl knew this was the place where she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

She needed no castles or crowns, she needed only the arms of Jon Snow around her as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear, she needed the sound of their skin meeting each other and his forceful hands at her hips “You came back” She whispered against his mouth before the pleasure blinded her and she acknowledged nothing but the feel of him inside her reaching his own pleasure as well.

“I will always come back for you”

He told her before nuzzling his nose to her and dropping himself on top of her in the warm bed of her solar “Thank you Jon Snow” She said with a small smile as she felt him smiling against the skin of her neck.

“Winter is over my lady”

Her smile grew bigger as she surrounded him with her arms as the exhaustion took them over and they went to sleep dreaming of a new tomorrow and the promise of happiness.


End file.
